Scrolling through 8,375 mails, I noticed my Mom’s Boss / Friend sent me a mail titled ‘ IIT-M Internships for Data Science plus Workshops’
Data Science and Machine Learning was the hottest thing in 2019, hotter than Megan Fox for so many reasons. For a guy who has no idea What I am going to do with life!! that was a subtle pleasure.
I bragged to my Mom that I would get done with this Internship for sure. She trusted me and she didn’t know that I am a dumbhead kid who wants to do everything for granted rather knowing shit about it.
I was proud because it was IIT, a well-known institutional around the country even got me.
The first two days were a normal workshop, like most of the so-called workshops were being held around the town to make people fall into a trap. I was the only 18-year-old boy with full enthusiasm and have no idea why I am here. Rest works in Industry for at least 5 years of experience.
Then the day I was waiting for arrived, It was an Internship for which I was eager to work on something exciting but little I know I am gonna get f**ked up so badly.
I hit up the office which was high up from the ground at the 10th floor, I see those people’s with saddle face breaking into their work whereas me ‘ I am Excited ‘.
It was only me who showed up to the Internship, and I was worried. They gave me a task to Segment Customer based on their Flying Score. I have no idea what they were talking. All I was worried about is whether I can get refund my money back or not.
After a week, I figured out what I should do and presented them with what the task was all about. It did went well trust me until I don’t know what’s next. I should use an algorithm that I never heard during the workshop or been told to me before.
I worked my arse off for two weeks, I learned things which I didn’t know before and came across a whole bunch of unknown things. But I could not do it further I was kept saying lies to myself I am not capable of to pull this entire thing.
For certain reasons those lies were cozy, it kept me away from the pressure that I am gonna get f**ked up. I can’t help it, rather running away from that place. The worst thing is I was lying to my Mom, it was not all my fault.
I fell into the torment of my own lies and eventually f**ked for real.
We tend to lie to ourselves at some point to save us away from the awful feeling. Those lies might comfort you but in the long run, it breaks you. I comforted myself with all lies to keep me high headed but it was of no use.
I realized sometimes the truth is better than tormenting lies which kills you in long run. Don’t let yourselves wrap around lies which comforts you from showing out your own shell out.
Is your shell is dirty? It’s not too late to clean it up before it turns you filthy.
Have a great day!